Monday, October 15, 2007

Recipe for Failure.


Failure (serves one.)
1 cake recipe
2 garbage bags
1 sponge
1 glass of water
15 spatulas

1. Decide that, despite being really sick, you'd like to bake a cake.

2. Select a cake recipe and corresponding frosting. In this instance we've used Tish Boyle's Banana Cake with Espresso-Caramel Frosting.

3. Prepare the cake according to the directions. You should end up with the most perfect nine inch cakes you've ever produced.

4. Begin the frosting and decide halfway through that you're going to try a new technique for incorporating the sugar.

5. Undercook your sugar syrup, curdle your eggs, then increase the mixer speed to high whilst thinking this will rectify all problems.

6. Attempt to spread the curdled frosting on the cake. Attempt to pipe a lovely border.

7. Refrigerate the cake for ten minutes.

8. Remove cake from fridge and watch the top layer slide off the bottom.

9. Use the sponge to clean large gobs of weeping buttercream from your drawers, countertops, and mixer. Drop the cake into one garbage bag, and once you see the corners of the cake board poking through place it in a second bag. Throw cake into the garbage chute. Pray the bag doesn't burst within the chute.

10. Get a glass of water and go back to bed. Do more grad school homework like you should have done in the first place.



Anonymous said...

So funny! Poor you. Hope you are better soon.
I have lots of recipes for screwing things up, if you'd like to try them?
I practically invented it.

Abe said...

hilarious, but also tragic. feel better.

in the past i have turned several of my failed cakes into trifles, assuming the failure was mostly structural.

IrascibleHousewife said...

OMG, that is one of the funniest things I've read in a while. Hooray for you turning lemons into lemonade by transforming such a frustrating series of events into a great blog entry!